I think it was in the Huffington Post recently where I was reading about micro weddings, and about the rise of them amongst couples getting married, and my first thoughts were, ‘really? Is a micro wedding actually a thing?’ Because as far as I am aware, this is a very normal occurrence in my world of weddings!
Micro weddings, if you couldn’t already guess from the name, are small weddings. But actually they are even smaller than small, where generally there are no more than 20 people including the couple, and I’d even go so far as saying that in some cases, less than 10 people!
You see, for as long as I have been doing weddings, I have always had my fair share of micro weddings, so I never realized it was a thing. Big, small they are all amazing. However, that said, having been present at small, big and humongous weddings, there is something very very unique and special about micro weddings. And I know that from the couples with whom I have spent time with at their micro affairs, the feeling of being surrounded by a small group of loved ones creates a very special and intimate occasion, which sometimes is harder to achieve with a bigger body of people.
Is a micro wedding for you?
I think it’s important to talk about micro weddings to let people know that there is nothing wrong with having a teeny weeny wedding. It’s not selfish, it’s not self-important, it’s just another choice that couples can make when it comes to their own celebration and how they want to do it.
If anything, it’s really very admirable of couples who manage not to bow under the pressure and influence of the wedding industry and feel they need to turn their wedding day into a grand event, rather than the intimate occasion that they’d prefer it to be or that their gut is telling them that they really want.
Here are five reasons why micro weddings rock and why you might want to seriously think about one for your own big tiny day!
1. The intimacy
Nothing beats the intimacy of a small affair. The two go hand in hand. Being surrounded by only your absolute closest family and friends is quite an undertaking. And because the group will be formed of those you know and love most in the world, you are already halfway there to creating an occasion which is focused on the two of you and all those you hold dear in your life. And their feelings for you in return are very much felt and transmitted throughout the day too.
Having fewer people means more quality time with your guests and also importantly with your new husband or wife. Couples sometimes don’t realize how much their wedding day is about their guests, as much as it is about the two of them. You’ve invited people to share your special day with you, so you have to allocate a bit of time, socializing and interacting with them, seeing as they’ve made all that effort to be there with you. And so obviously, even if you’re really bad at maths, you can still figure out that the more people you have surrounding you, the more people you need to talk to.
I often see this at some of my weddings. Literally as soon as the ceremony has finished, the couple go straight into greeting their guests, quite often separately. They may grab a few minutes in between all the greeting to say hello to one another and have a quick kiss, but usually their next time together is at their reception, or if they’re lucky, when they sneak off for some photos.
Some couples are quite natural at handling large groups of people and having to be a host/VIP/centre of attention for what may seem like a really long amount of time. For others, it might be the absolute worst nightmare imaginable and well outside of their comfort zone. Or you may be none of these, but simply like the idea of just keeping your day to a select and close few. And if you’re one of those people, then maybe a micro wedding is just the thing for you.
2. Reduced costs
It goes without saying that obviously the fewer people you have on your wedding day, the less money you’ll be forking out for the occasion. Having a smaller group can also mean that you can do more with your budget and spend money where you really want to spend it and not where you don’t, which you would not necessarily be able to do with more people. And maybe with a smaller wedding budget you can put money that might have otherwise been spent on your wedding day to other uses, like buying your first home, or treating yourselves to a nice honeymoon or holiday.
3. The ease of planning/logistics
The ease of planning a wedding for 10-15 people is without even needing to say it, much easier than for 100-150 people. Planning an event full stop, is a big deal. Hell, I break out in a sweat just trying to plan a dinner party for four adults, but then that’s probably because I always try to feed ten times the number of actual guests.
However, whilst planning for 10 or 20 is no walk in the park, it certainly does invite less stress and less of other people’s foibles to have to worry about. With fewer people you might not have to worry about all the logistics surrounding bigger weddings such as finding a big enough venue, transportation, catering and general people and time management on the day.
As a Celebrant, I’ve even seen with my own eyes how difficult people management is, the more people there are. Ask a group of 150 to kindly take their seats for the ceremony and maybe, if you’re lucky, half of them will, the other half, although they’ve heard you, will carry on talking. Ask a group of ten people to take their seats for the ceremony, and ask no more, they take their seats! The more people there are, the more unmanageable they can be!
Having less people to manage also means you will have more time to invest in the most important part of your day – the wedding ceremony, of course!
4. More relaxed
It really is much more relaxing when you host a smaller wedding. FACT! just the points outlined above count considerably in reducing the amounts of stress into the run up of your wedding day and of course, on the day itself. When you are with those who are closest to you in the world, you are unlikely to feel anything but relaxed about the whole proceedings. Of course, you’ll have the normal nerves and all the emotions that you get when you marry your best friend, but none of the extra worries that hosting a big event can bring you.
5. More choice
With a smaller group of people you can really expand your choices for what you want to do on your wedding day and how you want to celebrate with everyone. You can really change up everything and create your own unique wedding experience. I recently had a micro-wedding for 10 people including the couple. They had an awesome pre-lunch ceremony and then a really lovely intimate lunch for them and their guests. How nice is that? Or a beach wedding I did a few years ago for 15 guests at 11 in the morning. Followed by a leisurely wedding lunch and after that, drinks and mingling. Perfect!
So the moral of this story is that you should have the sized wedding that you want and feel happy with. That you shouldn’t feel pressured to have a big wedding and to invite people you don’t want to, and you should simply surround yourselves with those who you love and whose company you couldn’t imagine being without on your wedding day.
Photographs by the awesome Pedro Bellido photography, with special thanks to the gorgeous Erin and Brodie.
Celebrant: Gayle Armitage