Would you get ready together on your wedding day?

As every wedding season goes by, I love taking a moment to pick out things that I see happening more and more and sharing them with everyone to see if they will happen more and more. For me, the hot trend this summer was couples getting ready together. And yep, you’ve guessed it, I love this!

Everyone knows that it’s tradition for brides and grooms not to see each other before their wedding ceremony. It comes from the times when brides and grooms only actually even met for the first time on their wedding day. Nervous fathers desperate for their business transactions to go ahead, wanted to keep the couples separate for as long as possible so that there was no danger of either one of them doing a runner, if one didn’t like what he or she saw! And so with time the tradition has developed into what it is today, where many couples even spend the night before their wedding day, apart.

Of course, I recognise the lovely elements of this. The opportunity to miss your love bunny and make your heart ache for them. The nervous anticipation of seeing him or her for the first time since the night before, the excitement and the butterflies. I get it. But I also get the lots and lots of other reasons why not seeing each other before your wedding day can actually be a huge pain in the butt, and unnecessary. So let’s see what might be the benefits of getting ready together on your wedding day over spending the time apart.

It can keep you calm

Firstly, although I’ve not done any serious research into this or even had the chance for it, I can definitely say from an observational point of view that the couples who I’ve seen getting ready together are without doubt more relaxed and chilled out. Now don’t all go rushing to this conclusion if you think it’s going to cure wedding day nerves, because it certainly won’t. I said my couples were more chilled but this doesn’t mean their nerves didn’t jangle at all. Many had little bouts of nervousness, here and there, which is totally normal. I think the fact that they were together absolutely helped reduce the stress and to take away that anxiety of waiting to see one another and made them much more calmer when the time came for the ceremony.

Albert Pamies

Getting ready together can really help you keep your shit together because you are there for each other. Simples.                                                                                                                        Photo by Albert Pamies

It’s practical

For some couples, especially those who are eloping it might not even be logistically practical to not be with each other before the ceremony, and so even if there is no choice in the matter, I think it is still a nice scenario to be in. You and your love getting ready together on the morning of your wedding day, can mean so much. You get to be there for one another, to help each other get changed, to support each other on your big day. Okay, so he may hog the bathroom too much and you might not appreciate him walking around in his underpants and socks for the whole morning and she may drive you made with her incessant singing and humming, but that realness is a part of who you are and who you’ll continue to be after your wedding day, is it not? So why not keep it real!

It’s romantic

Maybe I have a twisted way of looking at romance but I think that getting ready together on the day of your wedding is super romantic. Why be separated from each other on a day that you’re are going to be united together? It kind of doesn’t make sense really, does it? I’ve also noticed that couples who get ready together in different rooms or even different venues, spend a lot of time texting each other to ask all sorts of questions about whether this and that is done or where this or that is, or even just to tell each other that they love them, miss them and can’t wait to see them. So being together is a nice solution for all of that. You can switch your phone off (okay, I’m sure you’ll never switch it off, but at least have it on silent!) and you can enjoy each others’ company and some private time together, whilst looking forward to that big moment together.

I cannot think of any MORE romantic. Photo by Miki Barlok

I cannot think of anything MORE romantic than being together before your ceremony.               Photo by Miki Barlok

It’s much-needed ‘together time’

Now, I know some people are probably already thinking that being separated for a morning or an evening and morning, is no big deal. This is why some people may really love the whole idea of being apart, because maybe they don’t have enough of it! Or they just simply love the idea of it. But for some couples, their wedding event is not just about them getting married but also about them having some much needed couple time together. I am amazed by the amount of couples who in the run up to their weddings barely get to see each other. From working crazy long shifts to finance their weddings to living in different countries, there are many couples who are lacking their ‘us’ time. So it does seem a shame to force a separation on yourselves, when there’s absolutely no need for it, even if it is just for a few hours. And believe me, once the ceremony is done, you probably will get very little ‘us’ time again until the wedding and any other celebrations are over and you’re actually alone! It also seems a shame to willingly schedule any ‘us’ time for your honeymoon, because this means you may neglect making sure that you have some quality time together on your wedding day. And now that many couples don’t honeymoon right after their wedding, if at all, I think if you are in danger of not having any togetherness on your wedding day, and I mean more than just sitting next to each other to eat, then maybe you should consider getting ready together, as it’s the only real time together you might have!

Many couples who get ready together, do also go on to walk down the aisle together or make some sort of ceremonial entrance together. But don’t think for a second that this makes the entrance any less emotional or special. It really doesn’t. And don’t think either that getting ready together also means you have to give up on your traditional entrance. It sure doesn’t. If you wanted to, you can still make your separate entrances to your ceremony area, with or without others to accompany you. Nobody needs to know or probably wouldn’t even care that you have already seen each other and even gotten ready together!

If you really still like the idea of getting ready separately before your ceremony, but kind of fancy seeing each other at some point before the ceremony, then you might want to think about having a ‘first look.’ This is a great way to have some private time together and also to get those nerves to take a seat and calm down! You will most definitely be less nervous once you’ve seen each other and had a little smooch and chit chat. By then, you’ll be more than ready to face the world.

So what do you think folks? Are you still in love with the traditional idea of not seeing each other before your ceremony? Or does getting ready together rock your boat? I’d love to know!


About the author

Natasha Johnson

Natasha Johnson is an experienced Wedding Celebrant, blogger and writer on all things related to weddings, in particular wedding ceremonies. Her mission is life is to encourage couples to see the importance of their wedding ceremony and to get married in just the way they want to. Make sure you catch her on the Engaged and Ready Wedding Podcast, here or on iTunes and Stitcher.


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