A few weeks ago, I actually did nothing other than eat, lie on a sun lounger by a pool, lie on a sun lounger on a beach, eat some more and drink rosé every single day.
It was bliss. The most amazing two weeks of holiday, which were more incredible than I had imagined and I got so much more from my rest and relaxation than I thought possible. I knew I needed a holiday but I didn’t realize how much I needed it, until I was on said holiday!
I had a complete digital detox, too which for me, a digital addict, is a big deal. But honestly, it felt so good and has made me realize that I can survive in the real world without being online all of the time.
Self-care is SO important and not just in the form of a holiday but on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. And self-care during wedding planning is an absolute must!
It is all too easy to be wrapped up in what we are doing, whether it’s life, work or wedding planning and sometimes we do need to step aside and say, ‘do you know what, I’m out of here!’ Even if the ‘out of here’ bit is just for half an hour!
Planning to celebrate your love and marriage is like a job in itself. It can be bloody hard work. The long hours, number-crunching, head-scratching, mind-boggling, sleep-depriving, argument-causing lot of it.
The reward of course, is an amazing time full of love and celebration, but I know that for many couples, the process can feel anything but loving, rewarding or celebratory.
Sometimes I get emails from my couples and I want to jump right through the screen and give them a hug. I can hear in their words their tiredness, weariness, and sometimes the stress that wedding planning is causing them.
Wedding planning shouldn’t be like this, and that’s a WHOLE blog post in itself. But if it does get like this, then you have to make time for a timeout.
Make time for a timeout
When I worked at the BBC, we had this really cool guy come in as a big-wig to the organisation. He really wanted to shake things up and simplify the way the BBC was run, from top to bottom. He named it the ‘Cut the crap,’ campaign and no word of a lie, he even had these little yellow cards made up that said ‘cut the crap‘ on them and if at anytime you felt a work process was getting out of hand or overly complicated, you could just pull out your cut the crap card and declare time out, time to regroup and simplify. Okay, so we didn’t actually need to pull the card out (I sure did though!) but it served as a reminder that we had the right to do so. And so do you.
When wedding planning is taking its toll and making you sick, tired and fed up, you need to pull your metaphorical ‘cut the crap’ card.
Cut the crap means a) identifying what the crap is, not forgetting that crap in the wedding world can take many shapes and forms and b) cutting the identified ‘crap’ out.
Taking care of yourself throughout your wedding process means it is okay to step away from the planning for a day, a week or month (depending on how much time you have). Just like a job, it’s okay to have a break from it. Shit will not hit the fan, if you have a break, but it may hit the fan if you don’t take a break. Having a break means you’ll come back to your wedmin refreshed, re-energised and ready to go.
It also means cutting the crap and making decisions and taking steps which are good for you both and don’t damage your mental well-being and your spiritual harmony, not to mention your relationship.
Pressure to invite people you don’t want? Cut the crap.
Pressure to have elements on your day that you’re not bothered about? Cut the crap.
Parents want you to get married in a church but you don’t want to? Cut the crap.
Stressing over money and debt? Cut the crap.
Your future marriage is actually far more important than the celebration of it and you really shouldn’t be wasting energy and perfectly good hair follicles in getting stressed, upset and fed up over ONE day, when you’ve got a whole beautiful, bountiful marriage to create.
Seriously, cut the crap and take care of you.