Okay, so you already know how obsessed I am with personal wedding vows, so I’m not even going to bore you, as if you’ve read any of my previous posts you will already know. You really will know!
So today, I’m going to share something about vows that I really love, to be clearer, a technique that I am seeing more and more of and really love coming across. And that is ‘theming’ your wedding vows. Rather than try to explain what that means exactly, I’m going to drop in these awesome vows, written by an awesome recent bride to her lovely husband.
Marriage is a friendship recognised by the Police
And in our marriage, anything you do say, wont be held against you…for longer than a week but will be retained for future evidence.
You are the ball to my chain, the keys to my cuffs, the blues to my two’s,
And If I am your ‘Bolly’, you’re my ‘Gene Hunt’, if I am your Emma Peel, you’re my
John Steed, and I’ll always be your lifetime partner in crime.
If i had my life to do over, I would find you sooner so i could love you longer.
My husband, my hero
This vow was written around the idea that the groom used to be in the police force. When the bride sent these through to me, I loved them instantly and I had to know more about the story behind them. She told me of how proud she was of her husband-to-be when he was in the police force, of all the little day-to-day things that he did as a police officer that people take for granted and how she was so thankful that he returned home every day from work. So she knew that when it came to writing her vows, she wanted to theme them around him being a police officer and give a special nod to that period of his life.
How can theming vows help with writing your vows?
One of the hardest things about writing vows, which people say to me ALL of the time, is that they don’t know where to start! So the good news is that if you decide to give your vows a theme, you will already have a starting point with which to build around. You should probably also read this post about things to think about with your vows before you even put pen to paper
A theme can give you something to instantly focus on and provide shape for your vows. You know where you going with a theme and even if you get a little bit lost within the theming, you can simply pull back and re-focus on it.
Choosing a theme is a fun and easy thing to do, too. For some people, it will come to them instantly, because maybe it will be a hobby or a passion that their love bunny is obsessed with or maybe something that the person writing the vows is obsessed with. Like with the above vows, it could be job-related, or culturally-related, hobby/sport-related, whatever floats yours or their boat and which you think would give you enough mileage to write some vows around.
Let’s look at this other example of a groom who started off his vows with this idea of love and marriage, according to him.
“Marriage is like supporting your beloved football team. There are ups and downs, highs and lows, hard tackles and fair play. You can go from feeling down and out to totally elated, but no matter what the end result, you will always love, support and know that you’re totally committed for the rest of your life.”
How brilliant is that right? This is a fab example of using your own interests and hobbies to relate them to your love bunny and how they make you feel. I think if I was going to write some themed vows for my husband, I would either theme around his love of the sea and have a maritime-based vow (although using the word ‘anchor could be pretty hilarious considering what it rhymes with, ha ha! I am so juvenile.) Or I would theme it around music. Or I could theme it around cooking, which I love, and have loads of culinary themed references, or not!!!
Now going back to a maritime theme, take a look at this beauty written recently by a groom for his lovely husband-to-be. When my husband and I renew our wedding vows, I will be seriously tempted to steal these. They’re brilliant.
“Our marriage is more than just a legal joining of two people, it represents the start of our journey together as a family. We cannot predict how life may rock our boat, but I know we will be fine together. We will keep each other afloat, carry each other over each wave and be voice of hope when there is no lighthouse, rowing together and not alone.”
Oh my goodness. I have serious vow envy. Serious. Don’t you?
Choosing your theme
A few years ago, I had a groom who wrote the most brilliant vows based around Take That song titles, who his bride-to-be was obsessed with. It was brilliant and such a shame that I don’t have a copy of them, but I do remember him referencing titles like ‘Everything Changes But You,’ and ‘Greatest Day,’ which really made for some very cleverly put together vows, that had a good dose of humour and also more importantly, was a cool way to honour something that his bride-to-be loved! It’s a really nice way to make your vows even more special for the person who you are saying them to.
Oh my, how much would I love some Beyonce-themed vows said to me or written by me. I can already seen the line, ‘When we met it didn’t take long for me to be crazy in love, so thank you for putting a ring on it and for all the years we’ve had. We’re survivors. (Okay, ‘Survivor’ is Destiny’s Child, but that still works, right?)
A good friend of ours kind of wishes he was James Bond. He even had a James Bond-themed stag do. So I could have imagined him writing the most awesome James Bond themed wedding vows. There are so many options! And so many different approaches you could take.
So how are you feeling about this themed vow approach? Daunted? Interested? Excited? You can tell I absolutely love them, can’t you?
Some top tips for theming your vows
I’ll finish off with a few words of wisdom by saying that, if you like this approach, try to pick a theme that you know can give you good mileage and that you can get enough references from. Also, if you do decide that you want to base it around a hobby or passion that is quite specific, maybe you need to not be so literal and to keep it general.
For example, imagine if your love bunny was obsessed with geodes, but you knew nothing about them. Instead of Googling, researching and using terminology that you don’t know or even understand, you can keep it more simple. A geode, if you didn’t know, is a round rock that has loads of crystal formations inside it, which may I add is becoming quite a trend on the wedding scene lately. (Just Google geode wedding cakes!). So, instead of getting all technical, you could use lots of references around geological things like ‘rocks, crystals, precious jewels, solid ground, etc,’ references which are more general.
Another good tip is, to recognise when it’s not working. The good thing about themed vows, is also a bad thing about themed vows, in that finding references for your topic and making them work as a vow can either be really awesome or really terrible. You may find yourself, using references for the sake of having a theme, which don’t necessarily contribute in making the vows that you actually want to say.
So if you feel like your themed vows sound like you are trying too hard, then maybe that’s because you are. Write them, leave them for a while, go back and read them, have someone else read them and then make the decision to stick with them or not. If they read as effortlessly as the above ones do, then I would also say that’s a good sign. And if they don’t make any sense to you, then they probably won’t make sense to any one else. Maybe, just keep a few themed sentences in your vows as a whole, if you find a whole themed vow is too much or too hard to write.
I’m going to share with you now a wedding reading called A Marriage Made For Two, which is based on a cycling theme. I think this reading is not only brilliant but can help you to see just how you can use a theme in a nice, not tacky way and hopefully this might five you some confidence in tackling your own theme.
A successful marriage can learn a lot from bicycle riding.
You should promise each other that you will not be fair weather riders, but venture out together in the wind and the rain. Only by braving the storms as a team will you reap the rewards when the sunshine arrives.
Look after each other. A well oiled bike will run smoothly and change gear easily.
Marriage is like a tandem…keep pedalling or the one at the front shouts at you!
You should promise each other to not only enjoy new adventures and explorations, but appreciate the same old routes you know and love.
Marriage is a promise to each other to endure the climbs so that you may chase the swoops and swerves of perfect single track.
The journey may be long and may have hills ahead, but if you climb together with love and passion, you will be able to achieve everything you both desire!
Wishing you all the best from the start line of the greatest endurance event of your lives. Good luck and may each lap be a great adventure.
So go forth beautiful people, armed with this info and hopefully inspired to get writing some awesomely, kick-ass themed wedding vows. Good luck and don’t be shy about asking my advice. I’m here for ya. x